Language of love

An indescribable emotion, filled with joy, pain but will always hold a sense of memory. Love is such a diverse emotion and expression that won’t be tied down to a certain depiction or inscription. The love that a mother possesses towards her children, even if it may mean never saying certain words she shows it by cooking, caring and being a mother. 

The love one may have for a pet can stimulate the same potential as someone having love for their actual child even if the pet or child can’t comprehend the emotion being portrayed. The affection and care given is a language of love. From miniscule compliments to grand gestures, one can never put a label on what defines portraying love and what doesn’t.

1. Words of Affirmation – about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. When this is someone’s primary love language, they enjoy kind words and encouragement.
2. Quality Time – for those who identify with quality time as their love language, love and affection are expressed through undivided attention. This means putting down the cell phone, turning off the tablet, making eye contact, and actively listening.
3. Acts of Service – for acts of service, a person feels loved and appreciated when someone does nice things for them, such as helping with the dishes, running errands, vacuuming, or putting gas in the car. They love when people do little things for them and often can be found doing these acts of service for others.
4. Receiving Gifts – gift-giving is symbolic of love and affection for someone with this love language. They treasure not only the gift itself but also the time and effort the gift-giver put into it.
5. Physical Touch – a person with this love language feels loved through physical affection. Aside from sex, those who have physical touch as their primary love language feel loved when their partner holds their hand, touches their arm, or gives them a massage at the end of the day, for example.

Tried and tested Couples 

The Seniors:Pul and Connie

Married  – almost 53 years

Growing old together and staying in love is the most precious gift any couple can have. The strongest and most beautiful type of love is being able to stick with each other through thick and thin, and loving one another whilst accepting all their flaws and experiencing the good and the bad. It may not always be the amount of time they have loved each other but how they chose to love each other. This is a special love story considering Pul has a medical condition, Dementia, where one has tendencies to forget memories or even people. Despite struggling with an illness, the language of love is still stronger than ever even if  physical touch for Pul and Connie is not as important as when they were younger.  

They have learned and grown to adapt and experience while prioritizing other languages of love at this point in their lives, the language of love they express with others are words of affirmation where they remind each other of the love they hold for each other and experiences they have shared, and acts of service shown in their relationship constantly, when they wanna do something even as miniscule as getting a cup of water but they understand the love and thoughtfulness behind each and every one of the little things they do with each other.

MIDDLE AGE COUPLES:

Paul and Krystle

Together 12 Years (Married almost 10 years) 

Paul- I believe Krystle’s language of love is physical touch.  Krystle is never shy about showing her affection.  She holds my hand, squeezes my arm when something excites her, and enjoys a kiss before and after a work day.  Her touch is very calming, especially when she gives me a massage.  I always sense her love every time she touches me. 

Krystle- I believe Paul’s love language is acts of service.  Paul works hard in organizing and planning for our lives to be comfortable now and in the future.  He ensures that I have peace of mind when it comes to our budgeting and ensures that I provide the input needed so we are on the same page.  I appreciate it when he does the mundane tasks while I am at work so we can have extra time together once I am home.

Jason and Mary Jane

Together 33 Years (Married over 25 years)

Jason – I believe that Mary Jane’s language of love is acts of service.  She always puts others above herself.  She genuinely feels pure joy to give of herself to others.  During our relationship she always tried to guide me and help me from my relationship with other family members, my career, my education, and my duties as a parent.  She always sacrifices herself to provide these acts of service.  Over 33 years of a relationship, I feel that both of us have experienced all aspects and languages of love.

Mary Jane – Jason’s language of love is primarily “Physical Touch”.  However as our relationship has evolved and grown, “Words of Affirmation” come hand in hand with “Physical Touch”.  From the moment we first wake up in the morning we immediately kiss and cuddle.  When we leave for work and come home from work we kiss and say “I love  you”.  During the work day we text or call to say “I miss you, I love you”.  Before going to sleep we once again kiss and cuddle.  If we’re out and about in public together we have no problems showing public displays of affection such as  holding hands and kissing.  We kiss a minimum of 5 times a day and say “I love you” a minimum of 3 times a day.  In fact both of our grown adult kids hug and say “I love you” to the both of us when we first see each other and when we do our goodbyes.  In my opinion our example to our kids is reflective on how they express their love as well.  Through the years of marriage what drives Jason even more is when I express words of acknowledgement, motivation, or accomplishment.  Even after all these years I don’t take his love for granted because if I do I lose sight of the true meaning of “Love”!   

The Young Ones

Jacob and Viktoria Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Jacob- I think Viktoria’s love language is quality time. I think this because she spends a lot of time with me. Whenever she gets bored or unhappy she tends to want to go do something, she never knows what she wants to do, but I know that what she’s really wanting is to do anything as long as it’s with me. She’s  completely satisfied sitting in a car and watching a movie, we could really be doing anything as long as she has my attention. 

Viktoria– I think Jacob’s love language is definitely physical touch. Whenever we’re out walking around he always reaches for my hand. He feels perfectly content just sitting around and watching movies all day just so that we can be snuggled close to each other. This does backfire when we go to sleep at night as most of the times I wake up are due to the fact that he is smothering me in my sleep. Whenever I’m doing something where he feels like I’m not paying attention to him he tends to grab my attention by grabbing me and throwing me on the couch before he big is to tickle me, although I don’t like being tickled I tolerate it because I know he thinks my reaction is cute. He also loves massages.